


I've got you

by Rainbow_Trout



Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief, Grieving Casey, Hallie - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Season/Series 01, Whump, Whumptober 2020, season one AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27005674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Trout/pseuds/Rainbow_Trout
Summary: Whumptober day seven - support, enemy to the caretaker :)Been looking for an excuse to write this fic and here it is
Relationships: Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953733
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I've got you

Kelly had a strong sense of foreboding as he arrived at Casey’s apartment, parking his Camaro on the street. It had been a very long time since he’d been at his friend’s house – well, that was if Casey even considered him to be a friend.

Because he knew just how awful his behaviour had been for the past couple of months, just how unforgivable it was. It was true that he’d been in a world of pain since losing his best and longest friend, that he’d been in a pain like no other (and had finally understood the times that Benny had pulled away and been unbearable at home), but he also knew that his pain was no excuse. He should _never_ have treated Casey like that. Matt was also his best friend; and no matter how crap Kelly had been feeling, he should never had projected the pain onto him.

But he’d still done it, and now he’d driven a potentially permanent wedge between them. Casey had retaliated at times, of course, but Kelly knew that he was almost always the initiator. He’d not supported his friend when Nancy had been released from prison, had avoided him throughout the entire Voight ordeal, and had not checked in with him once throughout his entire ordeal with Dawson. In fact, he didn’t even know how that was going…

Some friend he was.

And he had been meaning to do something about it, he really had. But he’d never been good with the emotional stuff – like, he’d _never_ been good at it. Seriously. He’d relied on Andy for almost every problem he’d ever had – and he’d been scared. He’d been scared that Casey would reject him and call a final end to their friendship; he’d been scared that Casey would ask him to transfer houses. Because he knew that he’d do it. He might argue at first, do everything he could to convince Casey that he had changed, that he was sorry, but he knew that he’d always, _always_ respect his friend’s wishes.

And now, it was almost too late, and Kelly had no idea what to do about it. Because Casey’s finance had died. Casey’s _finance had died, and he hadn’t been there._ He’d helped him get her out of the blaze, sure, but that was hardly something to write home about. It was not a big deal, and he wasn’t going to convince himself that it was.

He hadn’t sat with Casey in the hospital, instead he had just watched the blonde pace. He’d been staring at him the whole time, wishing that there was something that he could do to offer him comfort, but he hadn’t even tried anything. He’d just let the blonde pace, lost and desolate expression on his face before Casey was finally, _finally_ , called by the doctor.

And then – something he hadn’t stopped kicking himself for since it had happened – he’d stood back, heart breaking but not acting as Casey had burst into tears. And he’d watched as the young candidate held him, taking the blonde Lieutenant’s weight as he was overwhelmed with grief. He’d remained with his feet rooted to the floor as Casey had started hyperventilating, and hadn’t moved even as Boden finally moved forwards. He’d still been staring as they both ended up on the floor, Casey clinging to his Chief’s shoulders for dear life.

In fact, he hadn’t stopped staring, or even moved a muscle, until Shay gripped his shoulder, leaning in and whispering to him. She’d been far from pleasant as she’d told him to either go to Matt, or to go home.

He’d gone home.

And he hated himself for it.

It was the main reason he’d avoided Casey at the firehouse; because he was frankly embarrassed about his behaviour. He wouldn’t blame Casey if he wanted to throw another punch, but he also got the impression that the blonde would be too upset. And that was far worse.

Now, he found himself walking up to Casey’s apartment, anxiety going through the roof. He’d tried texting the blonde at first, but after getting no response, had decided to go for it. He still didn’t know if Casey would want to see him, but he had to _try._

His anxiety skyrocketed further as he processed the pile of mail on the blonde’s doorstep. Did Casey not remember that he lived in Chicago? A relatively nice part of Chicago, sure, but leaving a pile of mail on your doorstep was a _sure way_ to get robbed. Pit of worry gnawing at his stomach, as well as just a little bit of frustration, Kelly bent down to pick it up. At least he could take it all in.

He then moved to knock at the door, hoping that the blonde would hear. He didn’t exactly want to kick the door down, though he was getting close to that point. But turns out it wasn’t needed, because the second his knuckles hit it, the door swung open.

Not only had Casey left the door unlocked, but he’d left it _open._

His anxiety and fear skyrocket again, before it morphed into anger. He thrust the door open, storming into Casey’s apartment. Despite not having been there for a long time, he _did_ know his way through it, and he wasted no time in heading to the living room, “Casey! What the hell, man?!”

Then he stopped. He hadn’t been expecting the sight. Casey’s place was trashed – but not in the way a robber would trash it. No. This mess as a result of neglect, a lack of cleaning – and Casey was right in the middle of it.

The blonde in question was slumped at the dining table, his head resting in his hands. He was wearing a hood-less grey jumper, dark trackie dacks, and a pair of socks – comfort clothes if Severide had ever seen them.

Kelly immeaditely regretted his tone, but it was too late, because Casey was already reacting. The blonde shot up, standing on shaky legs. He was sluggish, and he took longer to process Severide’s words than he should have – a sure sign that he was at least a little bit drunk – but that wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was that he’d looked annoyed for a fleeting second… but had then become detached, an emotionless expression washing over his face. Slowly, the blonde’s gaze moved around the room, before his eyes glazed over.

“Aw, shit… bud…”

Kelly all but dropped the letters to the counter, wasting no time in moving towards his brother. He arrived just in time to embrace him, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend as Casey buried his face into his shoulder, “I’m so sorry, buddy… I’m so sorry…”

He was apologising for more than just Hallie, he knew that, and Casey probably did as well, but he put all his effort into holding the blonde, gently rocking as Casey sobbed against his shoulder. The blonde was clinging onto him for dear life, bordering on hyperventilation as Kelly rubbed his back.

“Hey… easy buddy… easy… breathe…”

Kelly continued to rock him, trying to ignore the smell of beer on his friend. On a logical level, he knew that Casey probably wouldn’t be behaving this way if he wasn’t intoxicated, but he still wouldn’t blame him if he was. He hoped that Casey knew he wasn’t judging him. Because what was there to judge?

Eventually, Casey gained control of his breathing, slowly pulling away. Tears were still running down Casey’s face, and he was still gasping occasional puffs of air. He shifted his gaze away from Kelly’s, already flushed cheeks darkening slightly, “S-sorry.”

Immeaditely shaking his head, Kelly reached forwards and gently gripped his shoulder, “Hell no, Case… you have nothing to apologise for. Nothing.”

Briefly, Casey met his gaze, before glancing back around the room. This time, Kelly followed his gaze, noting the excessive number of beer bottles, the temporary bed set up on the couch, and the tissues strewn everywhere. He suddenly felt terrible for leaving Matt in this condition, but it wasn’t the time to think about that.

Just as he was trying to think of what to say, the blonde’s wrecked voice cut into his thoughts, “Nothing… nothing makes sense.”

And that brought another round of tears, Severide once again not hesitating before wrapping his brother in a firm hug. This time, Casey’s sobs weren’t as violent as his last, and he didn’t take too long to pull away again.

Severide then weighed up the situation in his head. He knew that he needed to get Casey out of his apartment. Not so much because he didn’t trust him, but because he could see that this place wasn’t good for him. The fact he was sleeping on the couch told him he was avoiding the bedroom, which in turn told him that Casey wasn’t dealing with the reminders of Hallie. He might want to surround himself with her later, and that was okay, but right now, it didn’t seem to be doing him any favours.

Going through his plan once again in his head, Severide nodded to himself. He’d get Casey out of here for tonight, then they could go from there. He’d also try to get Shay’s opinion, because no matter how well he knew his best friend, he felt better that someone more emotionally competent agreed with him.

“Alright… Case. How do you feel about coming to my apartment tonight? Shay’s out, we got food. This will all be here in the morning.”

Casey took the time to glance around his apartment again, eyes flicking across the piles of rubbish. He physically flinched as he was met with the sight of his temporary bed, and he frowned at the containers of moulding food, “Uh… are you sure?”

Kelly wanted to bundle him in his arms again, not only because of how shy he’d sounded, but because he just looked like a lost little boy. Casey looked every bit like the lost kid he and Darden had met at the academy all those years ago, and he couldn't help but feel protective. 

Heart skipping a beat, Kelly nodded, “I’m sure, buddy… I’m sure. Let’s get your stuff… or I have spare things? I don’t mind, bud.”

Matt looked conflicted, as though he really didn't want to answer, so Kelly took the opportunity to step in, “Bud, I can get your stuff… in your room, right? Just the top drawer?”

Once again, he knew exactly what he was doing; informing Casey that he wouldn’t go anywhere near Hallie’s stuff. And Casey seemed to appreciate his subtly, nodding as he once again dropped his gaze. Kelly gave him a smile, “Alright, bud. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He touched him on the shoulder, before quickly ducking into Casey and Hallie’s shared bedroom. He did his best to not think about Hallie’s obvious absence as he sorted Casey’s clothes, before ducking into their bathroom as well. When he couldn’t work out which toothbrush was Casey’s, he made the decision to give Casey one from his house and made his way back out to the living room.

Matt had moved in the he’d been gone, now perched on the edge of his couch, glad in his jacket and a scarf. He was clearly ready and _wanting_ to go, so Kelly crossed the room, lightly tapping him on the shoulder, “Hey, Matt, ready to go? Think I have everything.”

Casey nodded, once again refusing to make eye contact. Lightly, as though this wasn’t far out of both of their comfort zones at the best of times, let alone for where their relationship had been in the past couple of months, Kelly patted his shoulder again, making his voice peaceful and non-threatening as he leant down, “C’mon, bud. We can get a pizza and you can have the spare room. I can’t say you’ll be feeling better in the morning, but I’ll be there for you. I promise, Case. I’ve got you.”


End file.
